When a child believes he is bad, he behaves badly, and parents react badly, which will only reinforce the child's belief that he is bad. But confident parents can break this cycle and improve their child's misbehavior, says child development specialist Bonnie Harris. Using Harris's eight parenting principles designed to help children succeed, parents will learn the following truths: my child wants to be successful; behavior is the signal to my child's emotional state; inappropriate behavior means my child is having a problem, not being a problem; my needs are no more or no less important than my child's; I accept my child as a competent and unique individual; the behavior I focus on grows; I need to say what my child can hear; good discipline requires connection; and punishment breaks connection. Putting these principles to work allows parents to abandon the typical reward and punishment system of discipline (which alienates child and parent), and replace it with a more compassionate, successful approach that brings parent and child together. With Harris's plan, parents will gain the confidence and skills to raise remarkable kids they will love to live with—and vice versa.
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